a/n: no right okay i feel like before this happens and before this is a thing i’m actually daring to publish can i just say this was SUPPOSED to be a cute fluffy fic about cuddles and yay happy cute stuff but this just turned into trainwreck what the fuck im so sorry 

also it’s notable that this is my first attempt at smut in literally like literally a year so here’s another apology for the atrociousness that this fic is

 summary: dan needs to do homework but his best friend/lab parter/fuck buddy/whatever the fuck phil is, has other (better) ideas 

~fluffy smut but not sex~

words: 3.6k

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Dan’s not even sure why, or how it happened in the first place.

Butit’s worth the accumulation in the form of squiggly red biro in his school journal from teacher’s signing his ‘incomplete homework’ notes. It’s worth that and more. He’d been more than familiar with the impatient sighs and fair share of eye-rolls from whatever subject teacher was having to contend with his pathetic excuses before this, so if he’s honest, it’s nothing particularly new, anyway.

He’s just not used to the detentions after his lack of complete work had increased, and, without causing any offence to Phil, they’re certainly not worth an hour of his time after school every Friday. When he’s left scratching My Chemical Romance lyrics on the desks and letting his mind agonise over all the possible things he could, (and most certainly would rather) be doing than struggling to complete the sheet of 'Fifty Reasons Why Homework Is Important’ when he can barely think beyond the third point at a stretch, it’s not worth it. It never really is.

Yet the thought of landing himself in yet another detention when he’s already got his calendar booked up for this Friday regarding last week’s disregarded Geography essay, still doesn’t appear enough to cause him to fabricate an excuse and speedwalk away from the school gates before Phil has a chance to question him. Once again, he’s walking in the opposite fucking direction with intentions of none other then to end up at Phil’s house, and he doesn’t know why he puts himself through it.

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A/N: So this was a prompt that Pop suggested, and it literally took me 3 days to write. Enjoy!

Summary: Uni!Cockslut!Phil and Dan in lace panties.

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“You took your time.” Phil responds to the sound of timid knocking on his door. After a hesitant pause, the door slowly unlocks and creaks open as a very beautiful-looking, dark-haired boy emerges and steps inside the room. Phil’s already prepared the room nicely, with minimal light and several candles lit all around his shelves and bedside tables, giving off a very warm, romantic glow. He knows he wants to make this one special.

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I’ve just finished a smut oneshot haha. Anyone want it? 

A/N: Okay I’m sorry this is so horrendously late etc etc etc! Anyway I hope you enjoy it haha, thankyou to an anonymous follower who helped me with writing the smut! (as I’m so bad it’s unbelievable)

Summary: Dan is an American teenage boy living in San Diego, who goes on an exchange field trip to England. But who’s his exchange student? Read on to find out more! 

WARNING: Contains smut.

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real.

“Ugh.” I collapsed down onto the bed, completely physically and emotionally drained.
Phil let out a small sigh as he mirrored my actions, neither of us knowing what to say, or do next.
“Well, I’m glad that’s over.” Phil commented, staring into space as he thought about all the repaying and agreements we had to make with the manager. Seeing the manager in his dressing gown did make things slightly more comical, though. As it was past 2AM.
“I-I’m so sorry, Phil…” I apologized in a hoarse voice after a few more minutes, all the reflections on what I had done suddenly came flooding back to haunt me, at once.
“Oh, Dan…” Phil began.
“No, I really, really am.“ I croaked. “I don’t know what came over me. I was so immature to you, and I didn‘t listen, and I was just so fucking rude, and…” I could feel the tightness in my throat with the guilt and realization of what I had done.

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A/N: It’s back! I underestimated how long this chapter would take, but 4000 words later, and with a bit of help it’s finally done! Co-written with 2 of my followers who wish to remain anonymous. Hope you like it! :) 

Summary: My complete theory on what happened between Dan Howell and Phil Lester.

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I’m not claiming anything I have written to be true/what actually happened. It’s just my personal beliefs. 

**SMUT WARNING FOR LATER IN THE CHAPTER** 

Dan gasps at the text, almost dropping his phone beneath the clamminess of his hands, and turns around to look behind him. The platform’s so busy, and he’s so flustered that he could recognize anyone’s face in the midst of the chaos, let alone Phil’s.
But as his eyes darted to the right, his heart stops, and his jaw drops open. He doesn’t even care about how idiotic he must have looked in that moment. He just didn’t care about anyone other than the angelic form standing only a few feet away from him. And he was actually there.
This is unreal. Dan thinks to himself, as Phil catches his eye, and shoots him a soft smile. He begins slowly approaching the nervous, younger boy, watching Dan being able to do nothing more than stand rooted to the spot, and concentrate on walking instead of fainting.

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A/N: Ehh sorry for the late update again, I really need to start setting myself a time goal! D: I hope most of you are still awake to read this! Anyway yeah, this chapter is where things are really going to start to heat up! Hope you like it! :)

Summary: Dan is an American teenage boy living in San Diego, who goes on an exchange field trip to England. But who’s his exchange student? Read on to find out more!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real. Contains a little bit of pre-smut/naughtiness :3

“Are you not tired, Phil?” I questioned curiously after numerous rounds of Guitar Hero. He seemed so energetic.
“Not really.” He shrugged happily. “I think it’s because I’m happy to finally see you again!” He gushed, dropping the guitar hero remote down next to him and suddenly pouncing on me. My heart flipped as I giggled, gazing up at him once I had recollected my bearings, now sprawled out on the bed.

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A/N: I hope this chapter isn’t too long! I was thinking about splitting it into two separate chapters, but I figured the storyline would be moving too slowly if I did that, so here. I hope you guys like this, and I hope it gives you an idea of San Diego, and Dan’s background :3 

Dan is an American teenage boy living in San Diego, and goes on an exchange field trip to England. But who’s his exchange student? Read on to find out more!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real. Contains mild smut references.

“Here it is.” I broke an anxious silence, stopping the cab driver. He parked the car beside the sidewalk, and I let Phil climb out while I paid.
“You okay with carrying all that? Here, I’ll help.” I took a bag off of Phil, although his luggage was presumably a whole lot lighter than mine was.
“You don’t have to, Dan!”
“Well, it’s my turn to look after you.” I grinned, hauling his suitcase upright. “My er- my house is just down this road, here.” I indicated the direction we had to walk, as the cab drove off once we were sorted with our bags.
We began walking in near-silence, but Phil broke it before I had time to agonize over something positive to say.

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A/N: This prompt is ages old, but I wanted to keep hold of it and write it into a oneshot because I liked the idea. Enjoy! ^_^

Summary: (Do I really need one?) It’s nearly Dan’s birthday, and Phil wants to celebrate by making him a cake in a baking video. But will things go according to plan? Read on to find out more!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional.  am not claiming Phan is real.

PHIL’S POV:

“Dan, focus a little more… no- okay. Okay, that’s fine…” I directed him as he adjusted the lens on my camera, ready to film a video. I took a deep breath, before turning on my sweet, innocent ‘AmazingPhil’ personality for YouTube.

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