A/N: FIRST OF ALL HERE’S A FORMAL APOLOGY FOR BEING SO LATE WITH THIS OH MY GOD. I’m really sorry I’ve just been so so busy with everything literally oh my god I need to be organized with this better I hate everything.

And on that note…

Summary: Dan has been thrown into a completely new environment as he joins a popular boarding school, Blackwood Academy, as a new student. But what will happen when he accidentally befriends Phil, a ringleader of the meanest group of students in the school? Read on to find out more!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real.

♡ LINKS TO PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ♡

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“Maybe you’d like to explain to Charlie what the hell you were getting up to with Mr. Dan Howell while he was away?”

Silence fell across the entirety of the hall, so attention-gripping that even a handful of year 8’s stopped by the window, staring inside to try and get a peek at what the hell was going on.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart thudding uncontrollably and my face turning a painful crimson. Maybe if I kept my eyes shut and willed myself strongly enough, I just might be able to turn it all into some horrific nightmare, waking up in the darkness of Phil’s bedroom, cuddled up next to him.

This, to my unfortunate luck, didn’t happen. The silence continued for an unbearably long stretch of time before I forced my eyes open, and faced all the eyes burning into mine, Phil’s, Charlie’s and now TJ’s faces.
This isn’t happening. I told myself. No. He doesn’t know. Fuck. Okay, act calm. No, scream and run out. Pack your things and never return. Just do something, you idiot! Anything!

Avoiding Alex, Zoe and the group (they were the very last people I wanted to confront right now) I willed the redness of my face away (not that it went anywhere at all judging by the horrendous state I was still in) and let out a shaky laugh, flicking my hair out of my eyes and acting as nonchalant as my drama skills could allow.

“Hah, what are you on about?” Phil piped up before I could say anything, with strangely enough more or less exactly what I was about to come out with. But for once in his life, although I could sense the effort in his voice to make himself sound as calm as possible, his voice came out in nothing but a tight squeak.

TJ narrowed his eyes in a hateful glare. “You know exactly what I’m on about, Phil. Couldn’t wait until his back was turned, could you?” He turned to Charlie. “And as if I thought you couldn’t get any more stupid. You went for Phil Lester.” He gestured to me, as I kept my eyes locked firmly to the table. “Look where it’s got you.”

Charlie, in an obvious state of speechless shock, looked like he was about to burst into tears. He stared up at Phil, with the most heartbroken eyes, shining with disappointment, and then back up at TJ.

“But… I-I love him.” He whispered hoarsely. “And… he loves me.”

“What’s that, Charlie?” TJ cruelly asked, pretended to be deaf. “Speak up a bit; I didn’t quite catch you there.”

“I said I thought he loved me!” Charlie quickly changed his tone of voice into a tearful, near-scream, and his lip began to tremble with the impact of everything sinking in. He stared up at TJ, who now grinned back down at him with a victoriously smug manner, and back at a very panicky Phil.

Phil opened his mouth in order to object, but was sharply met with the slap of Charlie’s hand across his cheek.. “Don’t you dare talk to me!” He growled through gritted teeth, before running straight out of the dining hall with the swift grab of his bag.

Phil sat, stunned, in silence. staring down at the table with wide eyes as he tried to process, like the rest of us, what the holy fuck had actually happened.

I finally managed to tear my eyes away from the oh-so-interesting table, and with a deep breath, faced my worst fear.

Zoe, Alex, Louise, Charlie, and Carrie, were all completely blank with shock, 5 pairs of eyes all staring straight into my own, sending stabs of regret and self-hatred straight through me.

Zoe’s expression was the by far worst. She didn’t look particularly upset, or angry; she looked past that. She eventually gave out a little sigh, and stared down at the table, shaking her head at me while Louise put her arm around her, giving me a silent look of pure disappointment. Before I had time to do or say anything else, Alex approached me.

“We’ll be having words later.” He said in a hushed tone, making my stomach drop with fear. Was he going to disown me as a roommate?! Would I have to go and sleep in the empty bed next to James in his dorm?! Oh god, I’d rather sleep out on the bench near the river outside the school than spend one night in a bed next to James, talking about the likes of the latest Minecraft release and-

Shut up. I scolded my brain harshly. This was Alex, my best friend. Surely it wouldn’t be anything too drastic?

Well, that was before you made out with Zoe’s asshole ex. My brain contradicted, making my stomach drop again. Regardless of how good a friendship we previously had, I knew I’d probably fucked it up permanently by doing this, beyond the point of repair.

How did TJ even find out, though?! I thought I had him pretty much convinced when I’d explained the ‘broken shower’ story to him. He couldn’t be shouting it across the dining hall if he wasn’t 100% certain. I was so paralyzed with mortification to defend myself in any way whilst he was getting at Charlie.

I’d been spending so long wallowing in my own thoughts and staring into space that I hadn’t actually noticed the whole of my group had slowly dissolved out of the dining hall, leaving me completely alone. In fact, as I glanced around the hall, it turned out that nearly everyone had disappeared for the evening, leaving almost no one else in the hall apart from me.

And Phil.

He was already staring at me, but once our eyes locked, there was something distinctly cold about his stare. His lips were pursed into a tight line as he continued the gaze, obviously wanting me to break it off first.
What had I done? Surely he knew TJ was either lying, or had somehow found out some other way that I had yet to discover.

“I’m sorry.” I mouthed to him automatically, as if apologizing was going to immediately fix everything. He narrowed his glare slightly, before shaking his head in a similar way to Zoe, stood up before I could stare any longer , and left the dining hall, leaving me completely on my own.

What was wrong with him?! I knew the others had an excuse to hate me, which I still needed to explain somehow. But surely Phil couldn’t dump all this blame on me? As much as I hated to admit, we were both as equally bad as each-other in this, and that was something neither of us could get away from.

I scurried after him, down the hollow, empty corridors before I spotted him scuffing along the path outside, on his own. Checking no-one was around, I quickly darted outside and caught up with him, slightly nervous as I approached him.

“Phil?!” I said anxiously once I’d caught up with him, trying to get a look at his face. He wasn’t mad at me, was he?

“Fuck off.” Phil replied, walking faster in an attempt to avoid me.

Oh okay. I thought. That’s my question answered.

“Phil, what’s wrong?!” I half-jogged to keep up with him, feeling my stomach drop harder than ever before. I couldn’t stand him being mad at me, especially not like this.

“I said, fuck off.” Phil turned round suddenly, giving me a full-frontal view of his face. His watery eyes pierced into mine with an illuminating blue, his blotchy face was streaked with tears, and his lips were pursed into the tight line again. As I stared at him in the dimming evening light, I found it increasingly difficult to believe that this was the boy I woke up cuddled next to this morning. That those tense lips were the ones I kissed softly every evening for the past two weeks, that the coldly harsh voice he spoke with was the same one he whispered into my ear, huddled down in the duvet in our own blissful world we had created.

“I said, what’s wrong?!” I mimicked his tone of voice, grabbing at his hand urgently. He ripped it straight out of my grasp, the black bracelet jangling uncomfortably on his pale wrist.

“What’s wrong?!” He emphasized as if it was the worst insult anyone could ever give him. “What the fuck do you mean, what’s wrong? What do you think?!”

“If I knew, would I really be fucking asking you what’s wrong?!” I shouted back, my voice cracking with how dangerously close I was to tears.

“Ay, Phil and the Howell kid are having a domestic!” Some Year Nine shouted from across the campus, him as his grotty little friend laughing at our arguing. So it had already spread like wildfire. Fantastic.

“Right, that’s it.” Phil muttered, about to do a violent run at the kid. I suddenly stepped in and restrained him, expecting him to ignore my attempts at being strong in any physical form, but he stopped in my grasp, refraining from starting yet another fight.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere a little more private.” I ushered him over.
“What, with you?! Haven’t you done enough?” Phil stared at me disgustedly. Despite my overwhelmed confusion at this statement seeing as he didn’t seem so disgusted when he was barely letting me get out of his bed this morning, I resisted carrying on this argument out where it was so public.

“I meant to talk things over, you idiot!” I corrected with an annoyed roll of my eyes.

“I’ve already talked enough. I need to talk to my boyfriend.” He emphasized the word boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

My vision suddenly swam with the pang of pain that arose in my chest.
“Phil…” I choked through tears. “Please? Just let me explain.”

Half of me was expecting him to completely melt, and console me with his soft whispers and warm, open arms. Just like the Phil I knew. My Phil.

Of course, this didn’t happen. He peered at me for a few more laborious moments, before sagging his shoulders and rolling his eyes.

“Fine.” He muttered, pushing past me and walking ahead. “Be quick.”
I still had to keep up the awkward half-run to stay in time with his powerful strides as we edged closer and closer to the apparent direction of the forest. I was thinking more along the lines of simply sitting in the hut, but I didn’t dare speak up.

Once we were over the fence, which after a little practice, I was pretty much an expert at now, he began walking a few more paces in front, before glancing over his shoulder to check we were alone, and pulling his phone out of his blazer pocket to pretend to read the time as if this was totally pointless and he’d rather be anywhere else but here.

“Come on then.” He shrugged expectantly. “Explain this huge thing. I‘m here now.”

I gulped. “Well, maybe you’re the one who should explain, actually.” I retaliated, obviously catching him off guard with my defensive remark.

“What do you expect me to explain to you?!” He frowned.

I gestured, frustrated. “Why you’re acting like… this! Since when did you suddenly decide you hated me? Right this morning while you were kissing my face off and begging me not to leave?!”

“Well I probably still would be doing that, if you didn’t go and tell TJ about us!” He growled, his eyes flaming up with anger.

“Wh- Phil, you’re blaming this whole thing on me?!” I took a step back, drawing in a sharp gasp at his betrayal. “Are you really trusting him more than you trust me?”

“How stupid do you have to be to tell him about us?!” Phil gritted his teeth. “Why do you think I don’t trust you?”

“How stupid do you have to be to believe that I told him?!” I took a step forward suddenly until we were nose-to-nose (although he was about half a head taller than me, so it was more forehead-to-nose.)

“Who else would have done?!” He pointed out.

“How am I meant to know? I’m just as clueless as you are.”

“Well now everyone’s going to hate me.” He mumbled selfishly.

They already do. I thought, but didn’t dare say out loud.

“And you think I’m not as in for it as you are?! Phil, one of my best friends is your ex. She’s not going to take it lightly.”

“Zoe, huh. I bet you’re really upset, aren’t you?” He said bitterly.
“Not as upset as I am over the fact you think it was me who told TJ!” I added, still pretty offended that he could think such a thought.

“Because it’s something you would do! It’s the ‘Right Thing’, isn‘t it? You’re always trying to play the Mr. Nice Guy act around everyone, always trying to be friends with every single person you meet and do ‘What’s Best’.” He hissed hatefully, taking a step towards me and making me gulp. “I don’t know why such a ‘Perfect Kid’ would ever go for a trashy, sleazy, useless dickhead such as myself. Maybe you wanted this. Maybe you wanted to see me suffer, or use it as a plot to get closer to Zoe. Well, I’ve had enough of you! You can fuck right off back to her, and never speak to me, or Charlie, or any of us again. You’d be better off without me.”

“Phil?!” My voice turned shrill with the shock and horror. Surely he was joking?! His voice sounded a little slurred, as if he had been drinking, but every word still pierced through my heart just as painfully as the next. “Phil, you’re scaring me.”

“Good.” He gave me as suddenly devious look, causing me to lose myself in the chill of his stare, and held up his wrist with the bracelet still hanging limply, although it had lost its beautiful onyx shine and one of the stones had fallen out of the gilt setting. But it was still The Bracelet.
In one vicious movement, he ripped The Bracelet straight off his wrist, sending the stones, shards of crystal and gold beads shattering everywhere across the dirt-covered ground. I blinked, trying to recollect my thoughts as I desperately tried to take in what had actually happened. Phil, had literally… ripped up The Bracelet. The one I thought he treasured so dearly. My bad.

My heart felt as if it was representing that stupid bracelet as it suddenly broke into what felt like a mosaic, with every glance at the ruins over the floor stabbing into me like little glass splinters.

I fell to my knees, unable to do, or say anything further. I had lost all the energy and willpower I didn’t even have in the first place from staring at the damage done to the piece of jewellery he had dearly treasured for so long.

“Anything else to say before I leave?” He separated us using his choice of personal pronoun. I shook my head meekly, refusing to look up and keeping my eyes glued to the shreds.

“Well, I’m glad I cleared that up.” He turned on his heel, and disappeared into the night, stalking in the opposite direction away from the school.

I grabbed the opportunity whilst I was still numb with the shock. “Well that was a waste of £30!” I shouted after him. “I could’ve spent that on Zoe, anyway! At least she‘d-..”

I was unable to finish. The pain hit me sooner than expected. My speech was suddenly flooded with a series of choking sobs, as I curled up into a small ball, willing myself to keep on shrinking until I disappeared completely. Tears streamed down my face with every shaky breath I took, my hands outstretched and clutching a piece of the bracelet.
Despite my desperation and craving for this all to be some crazy dream, the cold winds slapping at my face accompanied by the gaping hole of pain I was enduring confirmed that I was in fact living in harsh reality. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

—

After what felt like a matter of hours, although I had lost any track of time after the sobbing slowed down, I gave out a deep sigh of defeat, my lungs burning with the aftermath of crying for so long. Sitting up, another cold wind ripped through me, affecting my absence of a coat more than I’d ever imagined. Although I’d never really intended to spend this long out here, especially not in this state.

I dropped the remain of bracelet that I still gripped onto and breathed onto my completely numb hands, quickly rubbing them together in an attempt to restore some sort of warmth back into them.

Despite my absolute dread of facing Alex again, I was trying to count on the fact that he was maybe asleep. It didn’t feel very late, but the eerie silence hanging densely across the whole forest and the pitch darkness of both the sky and where I was currently standing right now, told me otherwise.

I used instinct to the best of my ability to navigate my way out of the forest, and after tripping over several branches, stones and uneven tree roots, I finally made it out of the depths of the trees and out onto the main path, where the distant streetlights could finally allow me to at least see a little bit of where I was actually going as opposed to sheer darkness.

As I was debating how to climb over the wire fence, a small rustle and what sounded like a little sniffle appeared from behind me, in the trees. I froze suddenly, gulping down a lump that arose in my throat and edging away from the darkness and back to concentrate on the fence.

The shuffling and rustling continued, before suddenly, I felt a hand brush against mine, holding it tightly. I screamed in response, jolting my hand away and beginning to tremble with a mixture of cold, and nerves. For all I knew, whatever it was could be a serial killer. Or an escaped prisoner. Or a rapist. Or all three.
But what kind of stranger would hold my hand?! Surely if they were out to kill me, they’d grab me and cover my mouth with duct tape, or a gag of some sort. Or maybe they-

I shook the unwanted thoughts straight out of my head, really not wanting to think about such a daunting topic whilst in the middle of a forest so dark and deep that all kinds of criminals and killers could jump out at me at any given moment.

Still pretty panic-stricken, I leaped over the fence in one swift dive and sprinted back to the building, fleeting in terror.

Once I had returned, and silently sneaked into the dark halls dense with the silent atmosphere of sleep, I tiptoed up the stairs, using my phone light to guide the path up to my room door across the corridor. (Something I had never thought about doing when I was trying to find my way back over to the main path in the forest.)

I took a deep breath, and with hands covered in nervous sweat, opened the door to my dorm, feeling relief wash through me when I noticed how the room was completely pitch black, and hearing the steady breathing of Alex, asleep on the other side of the bedroom.

I shut the door and changed into my pyjamas quietly, before sliding straight into bed with minimal noise, somehow managing not to wake him in the process.

—

I jolted awake with a start to the sound of my phone vibrating with a message. Squinting in the white light that burned into my unadjusted eyes, I unlocked, and my heart stopped when I saw exactly who the message was from.

“Sorry sorry sorry. Meet me in the hut? Now? <3”

I frowned. So, Phil had just completely battered my bracelet to ruins and emphasized repeatedly how he never ever wanted to see me again, and now he texts me telling him to meet me at 3am?

“Why?” I tapped back, still frowning.

“I want to explain. I have something for you <3”

I narrowed my eyes, although by this time the light had woken me up enough to make it hard for me to get back to sleep, especially with this now on my mind. Trying to make myself as silent as possible, I slipped on a jacket and shoes, and stalked off into the corridors, down the huge staircase and out the back door, practically running into the freezing cold air to reach the hut, wondering what the hell was so important he had to wait until 3am to tell me.

As I approached the hut, I quickly opened the battered door, shut it and locked it behind me, and switched on the lights.

And I couldn’t believe my eyes.

My blood ran cold at the sight of Charlie sprawled out on the bed, holding Phil’s phone in one hand and giving me a look of devious contempt at what he had just done.

I stared, open-mouthed at the trap I had stupidly fallen right into.

“Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me, eh?” Charlie cackled, an evil glint in his eye.