A/N: Wow okay sorry this is a bit late but I got waaayyy too carried away with this omg. Hope you like it! <3
Summary: Dan has been thrown into a completely new environment as he joins a popular boarding school, Blackwood Academy, as a new student. But what will happen when he accidentally befriends Phil, a ringleader of the meanest group of students in the school? Read on to find out more!
DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real.
♡ LINKS TO PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ♡
Chewing on my pen thoughtfully, I stared for what must have been over 15 minutes at the Chemistry worksheets strewn out on the floor in front of me. I was pretty sure there wasn’t anything I’d less like to be doing right now, but I needed to pass the time. Plus, I’d rather have done Charlie’s work for him and live a peaceful, injury-less life, than choose not to do it and spend the majority of the rest of my waking moments smashed up against a locker.
After finishing several miscellaneous word equations about alkanes, filling in sheet-after-sheet of stupid homework that I’d copied off myself, arranging his sheets neatly with the help of scissors and glue and using tipp-ex against his rude doodles of the teacher and other class members, I snapped his book shut, closing my eyes and sighing in defeat. I opened my eyes to pick up his book and shove it under my bed, when an unnoticed sheet suddenly fell out, fluttering to the floor.
I cursed under my breath and knelt down to pick it up, when I froze at the sight of “Dan fucking Howell” scrawled in small, untidy handwriting. I flipped over the sheet to read it better, when I suddenly realized it was some kind of diary entry, obviously ripped out of what was his diary and had somehow managed to find its way into his Chemistry book.
“…and then there’s Dan fucking Howell.” the top of the sheet read, as evidently, he had started a new sheet mid-sentence.
Oh wow, we’re off to a good start.
“I don’t get why everyone loves that kid. I certainly don’t. He’s just so… I don’t know. He’s so clever. Cleverer than me. He’s too nice to everyone. It makes me sick.”
I tried to read under what had been heavily scribbled out beside that sentence, but I failed to make out any full, readable words much to my disappointment.
“Maybe I’m jealous? I don’t know. Oh god, I hate writing this shit. This probably won’t even stay in my dairy-” (spelt wrong) -“Because I’m scared of Phil seeing this. Because I’m scared about them two.”
I gulped.
“He won’t stop talking about Dan. It’s really worrying me. I’ve seen how they look at each-other in the dining room. I’ve seen all the glances, I swear I have. And Phil never lets me go on his phone anymore. I guess I know I’ve probably got nothing to worry about. They’re just doing homework together, I know that. I know Phil would never lie to me.”
I suddenly felt painful guilt pang straight into my heart.
The next part was scribbled out, although I could actually identify what he was writing. “But the thing is, it’s because he’s so damn hot.”
My eyes widened, feeling a sweat suddenly break out as I suddenly found myself too scared to read on.
But I did anyway.
“I’m not gonna lie; if I wasn’t with Phil already I wouldn’t mind fancying him a little bit. That kid is fucking smoking. Phil would probably agree with me, actually. And that’s exactly the PROBLEM. He’s too good-looking to be going anywhere near my boyfriend. And I’m not with him. I’m with Phil, and I love him. But I know what Phil’s like. But Phil loves me, right? So he’d never leave me. I don’t think he would. After everything we’ve been through, he- Oh, fuck this, diary. You’re just a fucking piece of paper I’m writing on. You don’t know how I feel. Diaries are so fucking pointless. I’m going.
His writing was a lot less legible towards the end of the paper, before starting to trail off into nothingness. I paused in complete silence, reading over the entry again and again while everything actually sunk in. In all honesty, I was actually lost for words. I didn’t know what to think, whether to show Phil, what to say, if I could say anything to Charlie. I just didn’t know.
In the midst of my confusion and slight pity and sadness for Charlie, a thought suddenly rose in the back of my mind, one that was so upside-down and thought-triggering I almost dropped the crumpled piece of paper.
What if Charlie wanted me to see it?
I gulped, completely rooted to the spot as the floodgates opened and my mind attacked me with even more unanswerable questions.
What if he deliberately put in the sheet hoping I’d read it?
Maybe it was his way of telling Phil to back off?
Or what if it was his way of trying to make me feel sorry for him?
Maybe he didn’t want anyone to see it?
What if he wanted me to tell Phil about it?
Was he trying to get Phil and I to stop seeing each other?
Fuck.
I grabbed the Chemistry book and shoved the paper in a random page. I really didn’t feel like reading that again. And if I got it out of my sight, then maybe I could just try to kid myself into believing that I might have just imagined it, and he didn’t leave that note all along.
Oh, how I wished it would be that easy.
With a kick, the book flew under my bed and without any hesitation I ran straight out of my dorm, slamming the door behind me, and automatically ran straight up to Phil’s, in the hope that maybe he was in there.
***
I could hear him before I’d even reached the door. Above the roar of Sempiternal playing out loud, I could hear his voice, as if he was on the phone.
And by that sweet, bored and ever so slightly bitter tone in his voice, I instantly knew exactly who he was on the phone to.
I gently twisted the doorknob, letting myself in as quietly as I could. He jumped when he saw me, his blue eyes lighting up and he grabbed his stereo remote, switching the heavy melody of Oli Sykes off.
"Hey.” He grinned softly, temporarily forgetting exactly who was on the other side of the phone who could still actually hear him.
“Phil? Who did you just say hi to? Who just came in?” Charlie blurted out, his tone alarmed.
“Charlie, chill. It’s just Dan. He’s come round to do a bit of studying.” He raised his eyebrows at me knowingly, a glance which I quickly exchanged.
“Oh. Okay. Can I have a word?”
I suddenly held my breath, my eyes shooting over to Phil who mouthed a confused “what?!” at me. I shook my head rapidly.
“He’s… er- he’s a bit busy. Why do you want to talk to him?”
“Oh, it won’t take long.” Charlie insisted, much to my dismay.
I shut my eyes.
“Yeah but… why?” Phil pressed, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Oh, just about homework stuff.” Charlie excused vaguely, as I gave out a silent groan, reluctantly taking the phone and pressing it up to my ear.
“Hi?” I sighed.
“Dan, hey.” Charlie’s voice was almost too friendly and smooth for my liking, which filled me with defensive suspicion. “Have you done my homework yet?”
Phil tensed up at his words, as I rolled my eyes.
“Yes, I have. I’ve sorted your book out too.” I added, awaiting his reaction.
“Oh, you did, did you?” His tone suddenly changed.
“Yeah. I found all of your sheets.” My voice quietened knowingly. “And I’ve sorted through them all. You have an awful lot of stuff in your book, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.” Charlie agreed, and the tone told me everything in that moment. He knew. That I’d read it.
It was deliberate.
“Yeah. There was some interesting stuff in there. A lot of doodles.” My teeth involuntarily gritted together.
“Yep. I’m glad you… sorted through them all. Thanks. I owe you one.”
I could almost sense the realization in his voice, that he knew I knew. And I knew he knew.
“No prob. I’ll hand you back over, I gotta go.”
“Okay. See ya.” He made a little noise that sounded something between a laugh and a sob, before being handed back to Phil.
“Anyway, we’ve got to study now.” Phil gave me a sly grin. “See you soon.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow actually!” Charlie corrected, as we both mutually realized that he was actually coming home tomorrow. Phil’s smile faded suddenly, his eyes losing their shine.
“Right, yeah. Of course. I’ll see you then. I can’t wait to see you again.” He livened up his voice for him. “I love you.” He added, turning to me and screwing his face up in disgust at himself for saying that.
“Love you too. Mwah.” Charlie replied, before the line went dead.
“Oh, shit, man.” I sighed, shuffling up to Phil on the bed and putting my head on his shoulder.
“Why did he suddenly want to talk to you?” Phil ashed rhetorically, trying to get his head around the confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“Search me.” I shrugged cluelessly. “I thought he hated me.”
“Oh, no.” He suddenly cut me off in realization, rolling over to face me, his eyes filled with what looked like disappointment.
“What?” I asked, my voice low.
“It’s just occurred to me. That you actually did the homework for him. Didn’t you?” He sighed, although it was more sympathetic than anything else.
“I… had to.” I shrugged. “I’d rather do that without any conflict than be beaten up again. I’ve had quite enough of that to last me a lifetime.” I shuddered.
“Don’t.” He pulled me closer, resting his head in the crook of my neck. “Don’t joke about that, please, Dan.”
“But it’s all in the past now, isn’t it?”
“Even so.” Phil nuzzled into me. “Just the thought of anyone doing anything to you. I can’t stand it.”
“Well…” I grinned. “I’m safe with you, aren’t I?”
“Oh, god, yes.” He pulled back his head to stare at me, his eyes full of care and protection which I stared straight back into, still grinning softly. “I would never, ever let anyone hurt you. You should know that by now.”
“Oh, I do know that. Even when you hated me. You still didn’t let them.. y'know.” I reflected back to the very start of the year, trying to blot out the consequences of what would’ve happened if Phil didn’t step in at the right moment.
Phil rolled his eyes. “I didn’t hate you, Dan. I’ve never hated you.”
“Not even after I told you to shut up that time? You seemed pretty hateful towards me back then, remember?” I chuckled, my hands playing with his.
“Dan, that wasn’t anywhere near hate.” He smirked, hiding his blush. “If you must know, I hated myself for letting my crush on you get so big.”
Even though it was just literally a passing comment, my heart skipped a beat at the phrase ‘crush on you’. I knew it was pretty damn obvious now, but it still made me grin like an idiot to be reminded that he had a crush on me. It made everything sound so weirdly cute, in the sense that the biggest badass in the school actually had feelings, and crushes on people. I couldn’t quite articulate properly. But it made me smile, all the same.
“What are you smiling at?” He affectionately flicked me under the chin, feeling the smile grow wider.
“You!” I tightened my grip on his hands, my eyes exploring every inch of his face as he couldn’t help but grin along with my grin.
“Am I just too hilarious for you to handle, then?” He scoffed sarcastically.
“Don’t push it.” I gave him a playful punch although I had a desire to know more. “So, when did y-…”
Interrupting our little conversation was the repeated blare of the dinner bell.
“Oh, fuck.” Phil rolled his eyes.
“Come on. Might as well get there early before all the good stuff’s gone.” I held out my hand for him to grasp onto, before checking the coast was clear to run out of Phil’s room unnoticed.
We walked into dinner separately, obviously, still sitting on opposite sides of separate tables, although our own eyes and expressions were the only sources of communication we really needed.
Although this dinner-time, I was distracted by the constant glares of TJ and the rest of the 'inbetweeners’ piercing through both Phil and I as if they were powerful Jaguar-like creatures, staring down at us as if we were the equivalent to antelopes.
“Can I help you?” I asked warily, feeling increased discomfort as they declined to drop their gazes. It was still considered rude to stare, right? Did that rule simply not apply to us anymore?
“Fucked Zoe yet?” One of them piped up teasingly, sending the rest of the group up into roaring laughter.
“Oh, leave it out.” I rolled my eyes, not quite understanding why that was so hilarious to them. Although they didn’t say much else apart from the odd whisper or glance, TJ still continued to stare at us, smirking gleefully as his evil glare penetrated me, long after we had both looked away.
“What’s up with him, then?” I hissed while we were making our way back upstairs after what must have been the most awkward dinner of our lives.
“Oh, fuck knows. Probably still pissed off with me because of the Charlie and Derek thing, I guess.”
“Oh, yeah.” I tutted. “I still don’t see why that’s suddenly your responsibility, though.”
“Me neither. I really don’t know.” He sighed cluelessly, shrugging. “I’m not Charlie’s guardian. I can’t control what he does. Who gives a shit if he breaks someone’s iPod?”
I rolled my eyes in agreement, stopping once we’d reached the door and turning to Phil expectantly.
Phil suddenly froze, searching through his pockets in panic.
“Shit.” He cursed.
“What? Oh, don’t tell me you’ve-”
He continued to search; through his bag, his jeans, and every single pocket in the inside of his bag, but still no sign of the key.
“Er-…”
“You’ve locked it in, haven’t you?!” I tried to peer through the keyhole in vain, and then back up to Phil. “You idiot!”
He stared at the ground guiltily, although I could see a smirk emerging.
“How the fuck did you manage to do that?!” I exclaimed, trying to repress a laugh. “Phil! Oh my god.” I slapped my face with the palm of my hand, still giggling. “How are we going to get it?! Only you could go and do something like this, couldn’t you?”
“Sorry.” He chuckled. “I can always go get a spare from reception later?”
“Why later?” I was suddenly side-tracked.
“Because… well, we can’t get into the dorm, I can’t be bothered to walk all the way down to reception, and I want to take you somewhere first. To kind-of… mark it. The last day of this fortnight.
"But… I stared back at the door, and then up at Phil. "Where are we going? I don’t trust you.” I added, frowning and folding my arms.
“Oh, but you will.” He unravelled my arms and took hold of my hands, his eyes flickering around us to make sure no one was watching. “I promise.”
He kept hold of my hand, and began to tug me in his direction. It was reassuring that he seemed to know where he was going pretty well which suggested he’d done this before several times and wasn’t dead or injured, so it probably wasn’t dangerous.
Or so I hoped.
He half-ran, still keeping hold of my hand as we jogged along many other corridors and through numerous doors, before climbing a flight of very dark, unfamiliar stairs. Something about this place screamed 'STRICTLY OUT OF BOUNDS’, but in that moment, I cared about nothing more than Phil, and what he was wanting to do. Besides, they were all coming home tomorrow, which meant this would be our last opportunity to do something like this.
Once we’d reached the top and were standing in front of a small door, he whipped out a paperclip and began expertly picking the lock. After a few clicks, curses and struggles, at long last the door suddenly unlocked and creaked open.
“Quick.” He led me down a short metal staircase, until we had landed safely and I had time to work out where we were.
The rooftop of Blackwood.
The skyline of London illuminated the moonlit sky in a breathtakingly beautiful view surrounding every inch of us. The wind suddenly swept past in a powerful gust, combing through our hair and sending exhilarating shivers shimmering across my skin. We were surrounded by the distant roar of traffic moving deep onto the ground below us, along with the sickening drop we were looking out over, which gave me a strangely pleasant thrill shooting through my stomach.
“It’s… fucking beautiful.” I shook my head in slow disbelief, turning round to meet Phil’s face; the full moon’s light reflecting off every inch of his pale skin, making him look astonishingly paler against the midnight-colour of his hair, which spiked wildly in every direction the wind decided to take it. His eyes, so dazzlingly blue, even in the darkness of the night, pierced deep into mine, glittering wildly in the reflection of the London atmosphere consuming us. It was safe to say I never, ever wanted us to get back down. I didn’t care about anyone else. I wanted to stay up here, with Phil, forever.
“Like you.” He chuckled, tilting his head and leaning in for a kiss, his arms wrapping around my waist and holding me close. After a few heart-stopping moments of our lips against each other’s, he broke off gently, gazing at me with a strange smirk on his face.
“What?” I giggled, narrowing my eyes at him.
He raised his eyebrows, and pulled something out of his hoodie pocket, jingling next to him as he held them up.
His dorm keys.