A/N: The mini-hiatus is over! So this is the second-last chapter of this *wipes away tear* and things aren’t looking too happy anymore, for neither Dan or Phil. This chapter is also longer than I intended, but I’ve spent weeks writing it so I kind of lost track of the size of it! Also it’s a little clunky with a lot of scene changes, but I figured that will probably be better than spending about 3000 words on them walking back xD I hope you like this anyway ^_^

LINKS TO PREVIOUS CHAPTERS IF YOU’RE NEW!

Summary: Dan is an American teenage boy living in San Diego, who goes on an exchange field trip to England. But who’s his exchange student? Will love keep them together, or will fate tear them apart? 

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real.

“Well, we’re really fucked now.” I muttered, tightening my grip on the suitcases as we slumped back down on the roadside, the next morning. We had managed to gather enough money to pay for the damage done to the bed, on top of everything else that was already broken.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Phil reassured. “It’s done, now. Plus, it was worth it.” He added with a playful smirk, in which I had to agree. It was incredible, although that wasn’t exactly the main subject of discussion right now.
“Hm.“ I nibbled my lip, staring into the distance. “Do we have enough for a cab?”
“Erm… well- no.“ Phil shook his head, much to my dismay. “We used the rest paying for this morning’s breakfast.”
“Oh…” I creased up my forehead in worry. “B-but, how will we get home?! Oh, why did I have to get that stupid breakfast?! We could h-”
“Dan… don’t panic!” Phil rested an arm around my shoulders in comfort. “It’s okay. We’ll get home somehow. We have to.”
“How?!” I screamed back, my voice hoarse. “How do you expect us to walk all that way?!”
“We don’t have to.” Phil gulped, reaching inside his bag.
“Well, then ho-”
Before I could finish my question, Phil whipped out a shiny gold card, silencing me.
“I never thought I’d have to use it…” He mumbled. “But, you know, it is an emergency.”
I nibbled my nails, unsure of how to react. I mean, it wasn’t as if there was any…
“There aren’t any ATM machines.” I worried out loud. “The nearest one is back in the City.”
“…Oh.” Phil realized, dropping the card back into his pocket. “Well, that’s that plan out the window.”
“This is a disaster…” I moaned, my face hidden in my hands.
“It doesn’t have to be!” Phil pulled my hands away from my face. “We’ll find a way around this, okay?”
“Ho-”
“We just will.” Phil insisted. “If worst comes to worst, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.” He added semi-seriously.
“Okay.” I sighed, although not fully convinced.
We sat, motionless and in silence, until Phil stood up and held out his hand.
“Come on.” He beckoned.
With a lazy groan, I managed to pull myself up beside him, as well as all our suitcases that we would have to pull along with us. Although, luckily it wasn’t actually too hot today, and the heat was bearable much to our relief.
With no other choice than to begin walking, we started our huge trek across the deserted town and back to civilization.

***

“Phil…” I gasped for air. “Phil, please…”
Phil turned round to be met with the sight of how I was beginning to struggle. After walking for 3 hours straight, my asthma was beginning to kick in, along with the heat and panic that wherever we were actually going, we wouldn’t be able to ever arrive. My head was swirling with dizziness, and I only felt the terror of fainting right now. I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t.
“Oh my god!” Phil exclaimed, rushing over and holding me in both his arms, abandoning the suitcases.
“I can’t do this…” I groaned in defeat. “It’s too much. I just can’t…”
Phil glanced around anxiously, aware of the fact that we were not alone anymore, and in fact surrounded by quite a few other people, as we had finally reached the recognizable parts of the city.
“There are no hospitals here, are there?” He asked, not exactly expecting a legible answer from me.
I could do nothing more than shake my head, trying not to let myself get too worked up before I really did overheat. I knew I should have warned him about my sensitivity to the heat, along with the asthma and horrific unfitness he had no idea about until now.
He stared down at me with concern striking his face, and I knew deep down inside, there was a decision he was making. And no matter how dominant that decision was, I knew what it was. I knew too well what was going to happen. There wasn’t anywhere else he could take me.
“No…“ I whispered hoarsely, although I was too weak to fight my own battle anymore. I felt my chest tightening up, and my throat beginning to close. Accepting the fact that we had caused a small audience by this point, Phil pulled me in closer and practically lifted my whole weight onto him, helping me through the street along with all our many cases, and declining offers to help from people who approached.
I was surprised that Phil knew his way around here, considering the fact the only time we had to walk home from here was after a night at Josh’s, the second day we had arrived. And if I wasn’t completely ridden with panic and the struggle to keep oxygen in my body, I would have been pretty impressed.
“S-stop…” I meekly protested, although with the full idea that whatever I said would be highly ineffective on where he was guiding me right now.
After several more struggles and protests, we approached it. And my throat tightened even more with the panic, along with the shaking. The shaking with guilt, fear, and regret. And the impossibility that this would ever go right.
“P-phil… no!” I raised my voice slightly as we became alarmingly close to the door.
Ignoring me, he gave 3 nerve-ridden knocks.
On the door to my house.
The silence was daunting, and seemed to continue on for much longer than I’d desired. For so long, I could sense even Phil’s adamantine was weakening.
After several laborious minutes, there was a sudden click, and the door opened, my mother standing by the frame.
The shock in her eyes sent chills down my spine as she realized we were standing here, on the porch, surrounded by all our bags. And right now for me, without the ability to breathe properly.
“Dan?!” She blanked Phil and peered at me, concern flashing over her face as I wheezed with difficulty.
“I-I….” I stuttered, sweat beginning to form on my forehead with the struggle of keeping consciousness.
“Get in here!” She suddenly shouted, raising her voice and grabbing me by the back of my shirt as I was hauled inside. She rushed over to the medicine cabinet and took out my inhaler, thrusting it towards me, and I could read the panic in her face, knowing that she had no real idea of how to deal with my asthma attacks. I took several deep breaths, spraying the chemicals into my windpipe until I eventually started to feel my chest opening up again, and letting me breathe calmer. I fought the dizziness and fuzzy vision I was suddenly overcome with, and found she was staring right at me, a slightly sheepish look on her face as we met eyes, brown against brown.
“So… er-” I started, my voice gravely as I tried to think of anything to say.
“Don’t bother apologizing.” She mumbled softly. “It was us in the wrong. I’m sorry, Dan. I shouldn’t have kicked you out the house like that.” Her eyes glistened with new tears as she reflected on her actions.
“Don’t cry, mom.” I awkwardly put my arm around her, although it did feel very weird. Me and my mom had never been -that- close, nothing compared to Phil and his family, at all, so making even the slightest bit of effort like this, felt alien.
She sniffed, fighting back more tears as she gave me a robotic smile. “I’m fine. Are you okay? With your asthma stuff?” She asked cluelessly, remembering that I had to deal with it myself, without her help, from a very early age.
I nodded carefully, suddenly silenced by the thought of what my dad would think when he walked downstairs and found me, his disgusting son, back in the house.
Well, it seemed that my mom had forgiven me. So far, anyway.
“So erm…” I began nibbling on my nail, panicking over what on earth I was going to do next. Do I unpack? Apologize further? Was it my fault that she was crying? My thoughts attacked me as I bit down on my lip, my dizziness worsening.
“So…“ She started, as clueless as I was with any conversation starters. “How’s Phil?“ She sneered, as if his name was some kind of disease. Looks like she obviously wasn’t over that, then. I thought, my heart sinking at the idea of never seeing him again after tomorrow. It wasn’t worth thinking about.
“He’s on the porch, probably feeling a bit ignored.” I muttered, suddenly remembering him.
“Right. OK.” She mumbled between pauses.
“Well?” She prompted after a few moments of silence, as I suddenly realized I was staring into space again.
“What?”
“Are you going to unpack or something? Unless you’re planning on storming out on us again like that.”
Her words stung, but I managed to brush them off. “If you’re letting me, then yes.”
She rolled her eyes, staring out into the hall at the baggage.
“OK.” She hesitated, staring at me. “So are you going to unpack, or what?”
“Er… yeah?” I raised my voice slightly at the end, making it sound like more of a question. I didn’t know whether she’d prefer me to do that, or run back and never see me ever again.
“Go on, then.” She dismissed me in a dead voice, as if nothing had happened. She didn’t even seem mad, annoyed, or showing any form of emotion at all. Maybe it was because she just didn’t really care about me. To her, I was a good son as long as I was quiet.
And straight.
I rapidly erased the intrusive thoughts out of my mind, as I walked back over to the door to find Phil, who I had temporarily forgotten about, standing underneath the doorframe, debating whether or not to come inside or not.
“Come on.” I beckoned him weakly, although there was still a strange atmosphere around the house. My mum had acted particularly unusual towards me, crying one minute, then showing less emotion than a brick wall the next which made me dread my father’s encounter even more.
We managed to make our way up the stairs, although I hadn’t quite recovered from my attack yet, until we reached the guest room and dumped everything on the floor.
“Home sweet home.” I exclaimed in a brittle voice.
“Dan…” Phil turned to me, his fingers brushing up against mine in a pained, yet comforting manner.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to be here, where I knew now the chances of ever seeing Phil again are slim, or back in a broken bed, in the middle of a shitty motel room.
Well, at least Phil and I were able to do what we wanted back in the motel.
“Well.” I shrugged, clueless of what to say next. We both knew what was inevitably going to happen, and that our time left together was confirmed limited. I turned to him, my eyes filled with fear and sorrow that his were also mirroring. In less than two days, I would be history. Phil would return back to Manchester, find another pretty guy that he’d fall hopelessly in love with, and I would be merely a memory. A thing of the past. Insignificance.
“Dan, stop it. Please don’t cry.” Phil gently stroked his fingertip along the underside of my delicate eye, catching the tear that was sparkling out of my eye and nearly down my cheek.
“But why, Phil?!” I suddenly panicked as the realization hit me. “Why does it have to be this way?!” I sobbed into him, mindlessly punching at his chest in fury and lovelorn anger. Luckily, I had enough consciousness to avoid hitting him hard, but nevertheless, some of my pent up emotions were able to be released.
“I’m sorry.” He couldn’t comfort me with denial, like he could with any other worry I had. He knew what the future held. It was brutally obvious.
I hated myself the most. For letting myself become so attached to him. He was only an exchange student, all the way from the alien country of England. He was merely part of our school curriculum. I should have known better than to fall in love with him, of all people, especially as I knew, right from the start, that our time would eventually run out, regardless of my father’s wishes. I knew how welcoming, and purely amazing Phil’s family had been towards me. I knew, that if I had things my way, I could be back up there like a shot. They’d all love to see me again, as Phil had told.
But I couldn’t have anything my way, anymore. I was only seventeen. I wasn’t even adult, yet.
Phi shut off my thoughts with an intensely deep kiss, locking our lips together and gripping the back of my head as if he couldn’t bear to ever separate us. Automatically, I began to kiss him back, our tongues making a premature collision as I felt my heart flare up. I knew this was the worst thing I could possibly be doing right now. We should be distancing ourselves from each other. To make this less painful for both of us to deal with.
But on the other hand, we could only do so much in such little time, so we had to make the most of each other’s company while we could.
“I don’t want you to go…” My lips trembled in anxiousness, our eyes completely eloped in each other’s as I stared my way straight into Phil’s heart after breaking the kiss. I was surrounded by his addictive scent, savouring every breath of it while I could, feeling every strand of his soft, ink-coloured hair in between my fingers while I could still run my hands through it.
“Maybe it’s for the best…” Phil’s voiced weakened softly, and although I could sense the pain and distrust in his words, they still pierced through my heart.
“Don’t say that!” I snapped, suddenly growling and tightening my grip along the back of his t-shirt. He froze in fear, his eyes locked against mine and his breathing jagged. I froze, too, before realizing what control I had just lost.
“I’m sorry…” I apologized, dropping my balled fists and feeling truly terrible. “It’s just… I really don’t want you to go. And I know I’ve said it a million times before, and you’re probably sick to death of hearing it, but…” I took a deep breath. “I’ve never had anyone like you in my life before, Phil. When we first met, you changed everything. For once in my life, thanks to you, I was actually happy. You made me feel like all of this was worth it. You inspired me to stay strong through all of this shit, because I know you’ve been there before, too. You know what it’s like, when no-one else did. And I just can’t bear to face that fact that I’ll probably never see you again. It’s only just occurred to me, and…” I left my sentence unfinished, feeling two tears begin to roll, and drip down my cheeks. Phil remained wordless, but within half a second, wrapped his arms around me at lightning speed, and pulled me in for a bone-crushingly tight hug. I listened to his heart beating in sync with mine, nestling my head deep into his chest, and the uneven rise and fall of his breathing made me aware, that he was also crying. As much as I was.