A/N: So I saw a few of Dan and Phil’s tweets today about Dan being home alone, and Phil going to Europe, and it gave me an idea. Then, I read a few of Aimee’s tweets {dansetmeonfire} and, with her permission, based a oneshot off them! Hope you like this :)

Summary: Phil’s left for Europe, and Dan’s already missing him.

DISCLAIMER: Everything I have written is fictional, and I’m not claiming Phan is real.

DAN’S POV:

“Phil!” I call out, a smile on my face as I want to tell him something.
I was met with nothing but an empty silence filling the apartment. The disappearance of my temporary good mood was rapid and the smile fades from my face, as I remember.
Phil isn’t here.
This is all a bit embarrassing, really. I’m a grown man, 22 years old, and I’m in this state.
Especially as Phil’s only been gone for less than 4 hours.
I delve under the pillow, finding the familiar crackle of the note paper he left beside me this morning.
“Dear Dan.
I didn’t want to wake you - I know how much you hate being woken up! But I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of you every second of every day, you know that. We’ll Skype later, okay? It’ll be just like old times ^_^
I love you.
Phil x”
I fight back the tears that are beginning to well up in the corner of my eyes as I re-read the note over and over again, as if maybe if I read if hard enough, I could conjure him up, back at home with me again. Although he was probably about 2,000 miles up in the air right now.
Out of instinct, I grab my phone from Phil’s bedside table, and immediately select “Camera Roll”. I already know this would be a bad idea, considering what Phil and I had done last night.
My eyes were met with the heartbreakingly bittersweet selfies of us, from last night, to way back in 2009. I had them all saved, which was why I rarely let anyone but Phil on my phone. Because most of these, were strictly private.
I stopped at a particular favourite of mine; maximising it. I stared at Phil’s face, turned to one side, with his lips on my cheek. My eyes gleamed with complete, blissful happiness, as I stared back at the screen. What I would give to have him next to me, repeating that very action right now. It’s everything I need.
“I miss you so fucking much.” I whispered, scrolling endlessly, through more and more memories.
I finally hit the first ever picture on my phone; from the first ever time Phil and I met. We were sitting in a carriage on the Manchester Eye, the moonlight and stars illuminating the night sky behind us, along with every single other light of the city. My head was resting contentedly on the edge of Phil’s shoulder, as if we had known each-other for years. He was smiling like an idiot down at me, his face buried into the fluffiness of my hat that I so proudly wore.
I couldn’t help a sob escaping this time, letting the fresh tears drip down past my cold, lonely cheeks. A million memories came flashing back at once, and I began to crave Phil’s touch, his love, and his company. Something I took for granted every day, but realized how much I needed, now.

Sighing heavily, I force myself up out of his bed, and walk over to the mirror, staring at the figure who stared back at me. I studied my reflection; my hair was sticking up in ragged curls, my eyes were still slightly sore from crying last night, and a little bit of this morning, and I was beginning to develop dark circles under my eyes. This was ridiculous. I was acting as if he had died, (God forbid) and not that he was just on a business trip.
I didn’t bother showering. We had showered last night, and it wasn’t as if I was exactly going out today. Instead of going to the darkness of my own clothes, I turn to Phil’s wardrobe, which was still open and slightly messy. Maybe if I wore his clothes, it would make me miss him slightly less.
I scan through all his clothes, stroking every single one as if he was there, instead of it being a pile of shirts and jumpers. After a lot of decision making and dithering helplessly, I settle on his red tracksuit bottoms, and York University hoodie. It reminded me of my University days, where he would kiss me before I left, and give me a hoodie to wear throughout the week.
As I put it on and wore it, I could feel the warmth I so desperately needed. I breathed in his comforting scent, and god, he always smelt so good. It felt like Phil was there, hugging me and reassuring me everything will be fine. That’s what I loved so much about his hoodies. No matter where I was, even though I was at home, in this case, it felt as if Phil was there, right with me.
I slumped back on his bed, pulling out his laptop and staring at the stickers, so artistically placed. Stroking my finger delicately over every one, I thought back to the time where he had put a kitten on my arm, and I had kept it there for the entire day, even after Chris pointed it out. And although telling a fan otherwise, I still have the other cat sticker on my piano, and there it will remain. Once again, reminding me of Phil’s loving presence. I open his laptop, knowing his passcode off by heart, and logged onto my twitter, signing out of his.
I feel a pang of jealousy as I scroll through his tweets about “nearly taking off!” and his adventures with a frizzy-haired woman at the airport. To lighten the mood, I tapped the “New Tweet” icon, and racked my brains.
“okay phil’s in europe which means i officially have the apartment to myself for a few days. TIME TO PARTAY! GET THE COKE AND STRIPPERS!!” I tapped out, pressing “enter.”
I stare at the tweet for a few seconds, glaring at the irony and joking tone. Better add a bit of truth.
I bit my lip. “of course by coke I mean the internet, and by strippers I mean perpetual lonliness.”
Yep. A lot more accurate.
Although that was a complete understatement compared to the loneliness I was experiencing right now. I don’t know what to do with myself, apart from miss Phil, and ignore important e-mails from YouTube and BBC.
I have a much better idea.
I opened “YouTube” in one of Phil’s tabs, and straight away, flashed up his new video, which I clicked on. I needed to hear his voice. Maybe it would help if I imagined he was there with me.
“Hey guys!” His smooth voice filled the room with false company, although it was good enough. A smile immediately grew upon my face as I watched the entire video. Then another. Then another. Before I had watched the best part of his entire video selection.
By this point, I was thinking about doing a liveshow. Although I would end up being too distant with the audience, and they’d straight away know what’s up. It sometimes annoyed me how sharp, and intelligent they could be. They’d know it would be too much effort for me to pretend to look as if I wasn’t missing Phil. To pretend that everything’s okay, and that I would be perfectly fine coping without him for a week.
Ignoring tweets that flooded in, such as “ARE YOU DOING A LIVESHOW TONIGHT?!” and “Dan, go on YouNow!!” I instead log straight onto Skype, which had been neglected for about 3 years, since my angst-filled teenage years of breaking down over Skype call to Phil nearly every night. It still nearly reduces me to tears thinking about it; how a few pixelated words on a screen managed to save my life. A boy I hadn’t even met in real life, yet.
As soon as I finally log in on my old account, it immediately flashes up with “Phil - Calling.” Although his contact name was still saved as “Phil <3”.
Forgetting about how I looked, I accept the call, longing to see his gorgeous face again, even if it had turned into a few pixels on a screen by his webcam.
“Hey.” His voice made my heart flip as soon as I heard it.
“Phil!” I cry, my own voice shrill, and hoarse from crying.
“Oh, Dan!” Phil exclaimed, a broad smile growing on his face.
“It’s barely been a few hours, and I already miss you.” My smile disappeared as I confess.
“I miss you too, Dan. So much. Are you okay? How are things?”
“Fucking lonely! Come back, please.” I sigh, although I know I really should be happy for him, if anything. He’s got a huge opportunity in advertising. He should be having the time of his life.
“I’ll be back in less than a week, Dan. I’m sure you can manage a few days without me.”
He really has no idea.
“It’s hard.” I muttered. “But this is just like 2009 all over again!”
“These Skype calls make me 8 million times happier, you know that.” Phil mused, a soft smile appearing on his face as I suddenly understood the reference.
“Oh, don’t!” I faked a smile, although my heart was breaking. Skyping Phil only made the pain in my chest worse, as it gaped open, wishing more than anything that I could cuddle this flawless guy, giggling on my laptop screen.
It’s not even my laptop, either. It’s Phil’s.

~2 Hours Later~
“Dan, I have to go now. And you really should be getting some sleep.” Phil’s eyes suddenly turn sad, as I could tell he was reluctant to leave.
“Oh…” I trailed off, clueless of what else to say.
“Look at me.” He suddenly muttered, as my head snapped up to look. “Just think. In a matter of days, I’ll be home. We can be together again, and do whatever you like, even if it’s just cuddling in bed all day. We’ll do that. I love you, Dan. I love you more than anything else in the world.”
His words pierced straight through my heart. “I love you too.” I whispered back, my eyes filling with tears already. I didn’t know how much longer I could do this.
“Come here.” He spreads his arms, and hugs the screen. I mirror his actions, just like we used to back in 2009, imagining he was really hugging me. Surprisingly, this actually helps a little.
Phil ends the call, blowing a kiss to the cam, and I’m suddenly dragged back into dark loneliness again. I close his laptop, and bury it under his bed, out of sight. I couldn’t be doing with any more internet tonight.
Instead, I leap over onto Phil’s bed, and bury my face in his pillow, still fresh with the scent of his shampoo. I clutch onto the duvet, cuddling his Totoro plush and imagining he was next to me, snuggling up in bed with nothing but each other’s company to keep us happy, and content.
But I was dreading this upcoming week. I already know it’s going to be the hardest.